if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
