saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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