my vag is so smooth its legendary
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
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A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
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Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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