Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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