Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
im holly from the hills drunk
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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