the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
vagina is talking i cant
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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