omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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