he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
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It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
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I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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