so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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