I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
