508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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