your parents love me but you hate me
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
