$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
