So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
