I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize