Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
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Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
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Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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