just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
