no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Randomize
