I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize