Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
jump out the window naked night went bad
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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