The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize