Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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