see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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