I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
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I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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