she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
