week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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