you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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