I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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