Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
