She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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