Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I need a burrito and a hug.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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