Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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