Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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