your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
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just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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