I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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