We won't sleep together?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
