I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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