Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
