i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
