Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
home. puking in laundry basket.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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