Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize