Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
babies were throwing up all over the place
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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