the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I think my moral compass just broke
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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