so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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