Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
