Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
