she was so not down for the gang bang
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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