can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
