He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
