If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
