went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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