My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
