I wish I only lived at night.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
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im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
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I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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