guys are not supposed to queef...right?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
