You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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