He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
