I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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